Things I Miss From The 90′s

Movies:

• “Space Jam” – Michael Jordan’s stretching armpit still haunts me, but that soundtrack was my life.
• “Blank Check” – Who doesn’t want to imagine what it would be like to buy anything you want?
• “Home Alone” - Macaulay Culkin gave me so many ideas on how to defend my home.
• “Billy Madison” – Say the old lady’s line with me, “If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.”
• “Man Of The House” - Chevy Chase falling pray to constant pranks, you gotta love that! 
  
• “Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie” – This is like my favorite movie of all time, the battle with Ivan Ooze!
• “Harriet The Spy” – We all wanna be detectives, but we all have to also admit we cried when the parents fired Rosie O’Donnell.
•  “The Big Green” – “Hook” – “Jumanji” – “First Kid” – “Liar Liar” – “Son In Law” – “The Little Rascals.”

Television:

• “Buffy The Vampire Slayer” – Hey, Sarah Michelle Gellar was hot and she killed vampires.
• “The Nanny” – I’ve attended a taping of a Fran Drescher show, and the laugh is amazing live!
• “Home Improvement” – We tuned in each day to see if they would show Wilson’s full face.
• “The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air” – I apologize that you now have the theme song stuck in your head.
• “MADtv” - The funny version of “SNL.”
• “Boy Meets World” – This was a daily fix. One of the greatest casting line-ups.
• “Sabrina, the Teenage Witch” - Before “Harry Potter,” she made us all jealous of witches & wizards.
• “Goosebumps” – “Legends Of The Hidden Temple” – “Aaahh!!! Real Monsters” – “Supermarket Sweep” – “TRL“

Toys:

• Pogs – I have a huge notebook full of numerous pogs and slammers.
• Nitendo 64 – Ugh, the blisters your palm would get after spinning Bowser in Super Mario 64.
• Game Boy – You always had to have the coolest and latest Game Boy.
• HitClips – I used to trade song cubes with girls as a form of flirting.
• Pokemon Cards - I never knew how to play, but my Charizard was better than yours.
• Creepy Crawlers – Sega Genesis - Skip It - Street Sharks - Crossfire - Tamagotchi

Other:

• AOL – Hitting us in the late 90′s into the 00′s, we invented the magic of BRB, ASL, and LOL.
• Blow Up Furniture – These were the coolest things, until they got a hole in them.
• Scented Markers – Whether we were smelling them in attempts to get high or just to enjoy the fruity smell.
• Paint – You turned into Picasso when you made random lines and filled them in with your paint buckets.
• Squeeze It – Dunkaroos – Candy Cigarettes – Bubble Beeper Gum 

There’s no doubt about it that a majority of Gleeks believe creator and writer Ryan Murphy, receives personal enjoyment out of separating fan favorite couples. When viewers said goodbye to members of the original New Directions, they were unable to fill the void with the new additions. Things changed during the two-part celebration, as we welcomed back original cast members and took a trip down memory lane as they remixed favorite routines.

Let’s skip the order and go straight to the highly anticipated reunion of the shipped cheer leading duo Brittana. Brittany (Heathor Morris) and Santana (Naya Rivera) have been a trending topic on twitter each new episode night, even when their characters weren’t involved in the airing episode. Murphy finally gave the viewers what they wanted, but didn’t just hand it over. Brittany is struggling with becoming a genius and feels rusty when it comes to her past dancer at heart self. With the help of Santana, she finds herself performing a dancing duet of Amy Winehouse’s “Valerie.” Quinn (Dianna Agron) joins the duo to recreate the unholy trinity and perform a very intoxicating, sexy rendition of Britney Spears’ “Toxic.” Santana has put so much effort into getting over her love for Brittany, but surprise…Brittany wants to be in a relationship with her now! We can’t deny that the kiss they shared wasn’t a, “It’s getting toasty in here,” moment.

Quinn returned to Lima, Ohio with her preppy boyfriend from Yale, played by Chace Crawford of “Gossip Girl.” He was texting during performances and obviously didn’t care about singing or dancing. He later found out about Quinn’s not so perfect former self and began insulting her before Puck (Jacob Artist) knocked his lights out by his favorite fighting trashcan. Quinn and Puck shared some sentimental moments as they paid their respects to Finn Hudson who was played by Cory Monteith, until he was written off the show after passing away due to an overdose. During these moments, Puck also confessed his love and shared a kiss with Quinn.

Rachel (Lea Michele) and Mercedes (Amber Riley) took part in a heated diva battle off, singing “Defying Gravity.” The duo forced the club to vote and finally decide who had the best pipes all these years. After some harsh words from Santana, the two put their high school ghosts aside and stated that they both were equally talented singers.

Previous guest star Kristin Chenoweth reprises her role as April Rhodes and delivered a flask in hand version of Pink’s “Raise Your Glass.” Winning 2nd place at Nationals left Principle Sue Sylvester no choice, but to dismantle the glee club. With April’s donation to the auditorium emptied out, she invited former Spanish substitute teacher Holly Holiday (Gwyneth Paltrow) to sing Pharrell’s Oscar nominated song, “Happy.” After an emotional speech of appreciation from Will Schuester (Mathew Morrison), April and Holly decided they have to do whatever they can to save the glee club.

Next week brings us to graduation, where fan picked favorites will continue to be remixed. The newly reignited flames will continue to see if their romance can last and we will prepare for the final chapter of “Glee.” The final season will take focus on the original members who have moved on to New York and will be joined by a few of the graduating class. As a Gleek who has found his way on to the sets and hung out with some of the main cast, I am very excited to watch as our old favorites take lead.

What did you think about tonight’s episode? Let us know in the comments!

Breaking into showbiz is tough. It ain’t easy dealing with competition, rejection, and crazy mom and dad-agers while the rest of your peer group is still on the playground, but it’s all worth it for the lucky few who manage to land on the Disney Channel – the place that has given many a child star their big break, a golden ticket to fame, and a few solid years of employment. But eventually there comes a time when a child star must break out of their mouse-house image – usually with the help of drugs, nude picture scandals, or by skanking up, stripping down and singing a song about getting “dirrty.”

Join Erin Darling as she counts down the…

POP 5 Skankiest Songs by Former Disney Channel Stars

5) “Lady Marmalade”

Okay, okay. I know it’s a cover. But the fact that this song is about a prostitute, and literally contains the words “do you want to sleep with me tonight” (in French, no less) make “Lady Marmalade” more than deserving of the number 5 spot on this list.

In 2001, “Mickey Mouse Club” alum Christina Aguilera teamed up with Mya, Pink, Lil’ Kim and Missy Elliott to cover this suggestive song, and more importantly, to dress up like harlots for the music video providing the Internet with endless material for jiggly gifs.

4) “Come & Get It”

I can’t hate on Selena Gomez, girlfriend looks amazing. But the lyrics? That’s a whole ‘notha story.

“When you’re ready come and get it nanananananana” – really?

Selena, it makes me severely uncomfortable me that you’re giving Justin Bieber an “open invitation” to your vajazzle. What happened to chivalry? What happened to the idea that something great is worth the wait? What happened to exploring each others heads, minds, and souls before exploring each other’s damp crotches? What happened to the idea that something other than a penis could fulfill you? These are not the ideas I want the malleable minds of young fans of “Wizards of Waverly Place” to subscribe to!

“I’m not too shy to show I love you, I got no regrets” – these lyrics are full of lies. Last time I said that to somebody I ended up crying in a parking lot. And I did regret it.

A lot.

3) “Digital Getdown”

Our third song on our list is perhaps the creepiest of them all, “Digital Getdown” by NSYNC.

Who is responsible for this song? I don’t blame former “Mickey Mouse Club” stars Justin Timberlake & JC Chasez for this embarrassing ode to cyber/phone sex, I blame the Internet. And that creepy 45 year old mouth-breather that invented chat room boning.

“Digital Getdown” was released back in 2000 – way before the days of Snap Chat – and NSYNC putting this song on “No Strings Attached” was risky business. Boy, oh boyband they really did go out on a limb including “Digital Getdown” on an album marketed primarily to 12 year olds! It’s just wrong.

Not only that but need I remind you that this is a boyband? They had to perform this song together, they had to harmonize about cyber sex and say “we get nasty nasty we get get freaky deaky uh uh” – in matching silver outfits.

I’m embarrassed for them.

2) “I’m A Slave 4 U”

Coming in at number two is a little ditty about sex slavery from former “Mickey Mouse Club” star, Britney Spears. “I’m A Slave 4 U” was released in 2001 when Brit Brit was 20 years old, and didn’t give a f*ck. You know how I know Britney doesn’t give a f*ck? Because she’s wearing her underwear outside of her pants.

And don’t even get me started on the title. “I’m A Slave 4 U”? Everything about this is weirdly offensive. I’m surprised Britney didn’t get slapped with a lawsuit from the national board of feminists!

Let’s just break down the lyrics, “all you people look at me like I’m a little girl…” Uh yeah, Britney. Because that’s how some of us remembered you until we saw you writhing in a sweaty hut covered in a thin layer of Crisco.

1) “Dirrty”

Remember the days Britney and Christina were in a competition to out-do each other? They were always on each other with dance moves, scandalous outfits, and risque performances. It was like the skanktastic equivalent of the space race. Although they were always neck and neck, Christina definitely put a man on the moon first with “Dirrty.”

Right off the release of Britney’s “I’m A Slave 4 U” Christina Aguilera was so bound and determined to let it all hang out, she created an alter-ego X-tina - a dreadlocked, pierced sex machine who spits in cans, hangs out in dirty abandoned wrestling rings, and walks around in ass-less chaps.

“Dirrty” was released in 2002, introducing the world to X-tina, and also to the concept of “sweating until your clothes come off.” Which is really hard to do. I’ve tried.

Thanks for tuning in to our list of POP 5 Skankiest Songs by former Disney Channel Stars – did your favorites make the list? Leave a comment below, and subscribe to THEPOPFIX for our weekly POP 5’s.

He told Power 106 in a radio interview that his next album would be his last album and then declared his retirement from the music industry via Twitter, stating: “My beloved Beliebers, I’m retiring.”

According to Justin, “Being a Belieber is a lifestyle.”  Pretty sure that lifestyle is a classy one, including urinating into a mop bucket at a restaurant before saying “F*ck Bill Clinton” while spraying a liquid at a picture of the former president’s face. (He tweeted to apologize)

I’m going to just throw this out there – those activities are not on my bucket list.

Now, this could all just be a ploy to get publicity for the release of his epic movie, “Believe,” or his new compilation album, “Journals.” But, for all of the shenanigans, I’ll admit, I’ll rock out to a Bieber song when it comes on the radio.  And I might or might not have made a Justin Bieber “Boyfriend” parody.

So, as a tribute to Justin, if his career is really over at the ripe age of 19, we here at THEPOPFIX want to celebrate his legacy and all of his glory by counting down the most awkward Bieber moments.

 Bieber’s Biggest Blunders

5. Anne Frank = Belieber?

Justin Bieber visited the Anne Frank house in the Netherlands and left a comment in the guest book, “Hopefully she would have been a Belieber.”

Woah!  Justin.  Really?  Did you not read the book? It’s called “The Diary of Anne Frank.” Pick-up a copy.  This might be a case where skipping junior high and high school for a music career is NOT beneficial to education or cultural sensitivity.  Where’s Ursher during these oh sh*t moments?  You’re his mentor!  Save him from him herself!  Maybe he just needs a hug.

4. Bieber Goes Bananas

We’re gonna keep this one simple: Justin bought a pet monkey.  Justin brought said monkey to Germany.  Justin didn’t file proper paperwork.  Justin no longer has a pet monkey.  Monkey is now German property and in a zoo.

3. Booed At The Billboard Awards

Justin Bieber made four stage appearances at the Billboard Music Awards, and on the fourth appearance, he accepted the first-ever Milestone Award while being booed.  He congratulated himself and said, “I’m 19 year old.  I think I’m doing a pretty good job.”

You just won an award based on a popular vote, which means millions of people voted for you, and you’re taking the credit?  Touche Mr. Biebs.  Bold, very bold.

2. Glass Door Encounters

Not once, but TWICE – Justin ran into a revolving glass door in 2010 and then, oops he did it again when he ran into a glass door backstage during his show in Paris.  The second one was a doozy – he kept performing, because he’s a champion, obviously, but passed out for 15 seconds in his dressing room from a concussion.

He said in an interview with TMZ: “I guess me and glass windows just don’t work.”

Neither do you and grammar, dear sir.  But that’s for a different day.

I think they sell stickers to put on glass doors so you see them.  Might be something to consider with your millions and millions and millions and millions of dollars.  Mostly for your safety.  I mean, ‘You’re 19 and you’re doing a pretty good job.’  Minus the run-ins with glass doors and paparazzi, which brings me to my next awkward Bieber moment.

1. Bieber Goes Ape Shit (Not A Monkey Joke)

In March of this year, Justin went crazy on some paparazzi outside a London hotel.  Justin jumped out of the van to attack the paparazzi.  His bodyguard had to restrain him while he yelled, “I’ll f*cking beat the f*ck out of you.”

He was wearing a red sweatshirt with a matching red beanie at the time. He could have been mad at his outfit selection. That could make anyone lose it on a guy with a camera.

And a bonus Bieber moment because we love you…

I guess Justin has decided that clothing is optional, like many other celebs.  He’s known for being shirtless a majority of the time, even in the hospital bed in London.  But pantsless?  On Instagram?  Come on Biebs!  Keep your pants on!  Bieber booty is not what I need on my mind, ever.  Leave the bootylicious songs to Beyonce.  I get the abs.  But ass?

You know what?  Justin, maybe this retirement is exactly what you need to get your life back together before you shave your head, walk in gas station bathrooms barefoot and attack paparazzi with umbrellas.

That concludes our list of POP 5 Most Awkward Bieber Moments.  Did we miss your favorite Justin moment?  Leave a comment below and let us know.  Thanks for watching THEPOPFIX! Keep Beliebing!

Until next time, what’s your fix?

Britney Spears occupies a weird, unique space in the pop spectrum. She’s been compared to past greats like Madonna and Kylie Minogue, but she lacks the latter’s self-aware creativity and mentioning her in the same breath as the former is, frankly, insulting. A common complaint with Spears is that she doesn’t write her own songs, which, the argument goes, somehow equates to a lack of talent, but the same can be said of Elvis Presley, Michael Jackson, Frank Sinatra… the list goes on. She isn’t blessed with the preternaturally skilled vocals of a Mariah Carey or a Tina Turner, but her music has never been about her voice so much as her personality. And her personality is just what has carried her this far, when contemporaries like Mandy Moore and Christina Aguilera are becoming Starbucks whores and public laughingstocks, respectively. Spears is the ultimate pop chameleon, transforming from sly school girl with enough sexual innuendo to inspire thousands of illegal fantasies to a robotic dance-floor dominatrix, confident enough to overcome tabloid dramas that have ruined lesser stars. In many ways, Spears needed that separation from her past self to become the four-on-the-floor mistress she is on Femme Fatale. Calling Britney a pop singer is doing the term a disservice; she is much more of a pop bellwether, subject to the whims of the Top 40 crowd and more than happy to adapt to environments that have cruelly undone lesser icons. There’s a reason Aguilera’s last album sold barely north of 110,000 copies and Spears’ single “Hold It Against Me” has the most aggressive beat on mainstream radio today. Spears shows a willingness to reinvent herself that belies her fragile personal life and, most importantly, keeps her on the cutting edge of pop music.

Sure, “Hold It Against Me” has the kind of dubstep breakdown that only the most naïve listener would consider representative of the genre, but the fact remains that Spears is the first to introduce such a rapidly rising phenomenon to the mainstream. She’s become a pop juggernaut not by being the most talented, or the most charismatic, or even the one with the best songs, but by simply listening to the people who know the pop pulse best: her stable of producers. Blackout became such a great modern pop album because Spears finally submitted entirely to her songwriting team, choosing to become the entirely sexualized instrument through which their massive hooks would be transmitted to neon dance floors worldwide. And for Spears, that is just what she needs: a Max Martin and a Dr. Luke to write a track like “Till The World Ends,” one that throbs with trance-y synths, a thumping electro beat that is pure sex and a chorus that goes and goes as only the best club hits can do, sensible lyrics be damned. Synths as dirty as the ones on “Trouble For Me” or as unashamedly Eurotrash as “Trip To Your Heart” are just what pop music needs right now, in a year when electronica is becoming bigger than ever and a pop song is not just about the hook but about how much it can make you move.

Yet while one can be assured that Spears’ lyrics remain as one-dimensional and cheesy as ever, it’s the sonically varied production work that prevents Femme Fatale from being a one-hit factory with a bunch of electro clones. It helps that Spears’ sounds much more involved than she did on the rather dispirited Circus, with even a by-the-numbers Dr. Luke jam like “Gasoline” showing some Spears vocal pizzazz, as much as a Auto-Tuned sexual android as she tends to sound. The real treat of the record lies in the more off-kilter tracks, like Bloodshy & Avant’s (better known as indie band Miike Snow) skeletal, vaguely African-flavored “How I Roll” and their rave day-glo specimen “Trip To Your Heart,” a track that would make Tiesto blush. For all its obvious chart-topping intent and single-minded dance directive, Femme Fatale is an eclectic record, and that’s why for every ill-advised will.i.am guest spot (“Big Fat Bass” - how the fuck this isn’t a Black Eyed Peas song is beyond me) there’s an out-of-left field flute (!?!) solo that actually works (“Criminal”). It isn’t exactly the progressive stylings of a Janelle Monae, but damn if it’s not catchy and interesting.

So, Britney Spears: pop icon or pop puppet, someone with the genuine foresight to see where the winds are blowing or one lucky enough to have a team of handlers to decide which direction she should go in? It will always be hard to tell, even though I’m inclined to lean towards the former considering Blackout had her pushing the pop boundaries years before electronic music was truly a driving force in mainstream culture. Perhaps it’s easier to just say that Britney is Britney and nothing more – someone who is more a distinctive sound and a driving force of sex nowadays than a genuine musical talent. Femme Fatale, after all, is a flawed album, with lyrics that barely clear the level of a Ke$ha and a maturity level to match. But it’s a pop album that’s supposed to make you dance, and when it comes to that, there’s not a star out there that can match Ms. Spears.

Image via BritneySpears.com

Oh how the mighty have fallen. Despite Ashton Kutcher’s successful effort in surpassing CNN’s number of Twitter followers last year, and going on to become the #1 most followed Tweep on Twitter, someone has now taken away his crown. Move over @aplusk, @britneyspears is now the supreme ruler of the Twitterverse with 5,067,677 followers at last count.

I find it a little odd that Miss Spears was able to hit the 5 million mark so quickly. Compared to other celebrities, her tweets just aren’t that interesting. What’s more, Britney herself is rarely the one making the Twitter updates. Her manager, Adam Leber, and other members of Brit’s staff often post on her Twitter feed. Usually tweets center around the “BS report” – calling “BS” on false reporting about Britney Spears (B.S.). Unlike the Twitter feeds of other celebrities that focus on being personal with followers, Miss Spears’ feed stays current by busting false reports and self-promoting Brit. Which is fine…just different. Again, it is peculiar that so many people would be inclined to follow a feed like that. Maybe they enjoy it, maybe they want to see Brit praised or maybe they just like it because her name is attached to it. But alas, too each Tweep his own.

Image via @britneyspears

Image via @aplusk

When there is a tweet posted by Brit herself, you get the feeling that she isn’t exactly the one pushing the “send” button on her device. Granted, it’s her words (we think), but you definitely do not get the impression that Brit is posting tweets from her blackberry as she goes throughout daily life. C’mon Brit, even Lady Gaga writes her own tweets.

Also lacking from her feed – the typical Celeb Twitter tiffs, rants and TMI Twitpics. You’ll be hard pressed to find an over 140 character mouth off about K.Fed, Twitter wars with Timberlake and personal photos of Brit sun bathing by the pool (Lindsay Lohan, we hope you’re taking notes). You get the feeling that although it is Britney’s personal Twitter, it is very much controlled by the “powers that be.”

My how things change in one years time. In April 2009 it was mega news when 1 million people began to follow Ashton Kutcher. At the time, Twitter was still a youngster trying to make a name for itself. Fast forward a year later and Kutcher now boats over 5 million followers on Twitter! If that isn’t a clear testament to popularity of Twitter as a whole, I don’t know what is.

Still, Ashton is in the 5 million range, shortly behind Britney. However, I’d venture so far as to say that Ashton’s tweets are far more meaningful – ranging from philanthropic, amusing and even TMI ( think that infamous shot of Demi Moore’s backside).

For those of you who weren’t able to snag three-day Coachella passes this weekend still have a chance to do so for the mere price of $269 (!!!), and Saturday and Sunday solo tickets are still available . . . for now. Of course, if you’re not willing to shell out hundreds of dollars for overpriced water, 100-degree+ heat, and a ridiculous array of talented bands, Los Angeles proper still has the concert hook-up, courtesy of THE POP FIX.

Avenged Sevenfold – NOKIA Theatre @ LA LIVE 04/16/09

DOORS OPEN @ 8:00PM

Image via Myspace.com

Red-state metalcore band Avenged Sevenfold bring their furious guitar assault to downtown’s newest venue this Thursday. Slightly pompous frontman M. Shadows told Metalhammer.com in an interview recently that the band is working on a new album due out this year, so don’t be surprised if the group lays down some vicious fresh tracks at the show. Don’t leave your earplugs at home.

NOKIA Theatre

777 Chick Hearn Court, Los Angeles, CA 90015

Phone: 213-763-6030

Tickets are available at ticketmaster.com and the NOKIA Theatre box office.

Britney Spears – Staples Center 04/16/09 – 04/17/09

DOORS OPEN @ 8:00PM

Image via Myspace.com

The reformed wild child of Disney Channel pop hits L.A. with a two-day stand at the Staples Center downtown. Her latest stops on her Circus tour will feature a four-act series of combination gymnastics/firebreathing/trapezing/animal-teasing carnival-esque entertainment with Ms. Spears at the center of it all. Oh yeah, and they’ll be some singing and dancing involved, too. Just hopefully not too much of this.

Staples Center

1111 S. Figueroa Street, Los Angeles, CA 90015

Phone: 213-742-7340

Tickets are available at ticketmaster.com and the Staples Center box office.

India.Arie – Grove of Anaheim 04/19/09

DOORS OPEN @ 8:00PM

Image via Myspace.com

R&B singer-songwriter India.Arie has had an astounding run of success for a 33-year-old who can hardly be considered a household name, winning two Grammy awards and countless more nominations, not to mention collaborating with everyone from Akon to Stevie Wonder to John Mellencamp. She is currently on tour in support of her fourth and latest record, Testimony: Vol. 2, Love & Politics, which led the New York Times to call her “one of the most determinedly virtuous songwriters in R&B or pop.”            

Grove of Anaheim

2200 East Katella Avenue, Anaheim, CA 92806

Phone: 714-712-2700

Tickets are available at ticketmaster.com and the Grove of Anaheim box office.

Image via BritneySpears.com

Britney Spears kicked off her much anticipated “Circus” tour Tuesday night in New Orleans; a tour that was supposed to be her come back, a collection of songs and show to prove to us that, once again, Spears is serious about her career. But despite internet buzz and leaked Youtube videos of rehearsals, reviews for the first show were  mixed, and less than stellar. A review in People Magazine said,

“Don’t call it a comeback quite yet. Britney Spears still isn’t all the way there.”

People continued to say that the show was more about the spectacle and was lacking an element of audience engagement that many concert-goers expect. Perez Hilton also reviewed opening night, describing the show as “much better than we had expected.” However, Perez admits that there was absolutely no live singing and that the pop princess synched her way through the entire show.

On the bright side, Perez did mention that Spears was looking hot,

“Spears descended from the roof on an apparatus and kicked things off with the appropriately-themed Circus. And she looked great! The outfits were fab and her body was bangin! Her leg muscles are ridic!”‘

Image via BritneySpears.com

Rolling Stone also covered the concert, but seemed to be more concerned about the costumes than the actual performance. However, the review did give some insight to the tone of the show, which seems to be extremely upbeat.

“Spears only let the tempo drop for ballad ‘Everytime,’ which she sang while sitting in the nook of a giant umbrella suspended from the ceiling.”

While Spears opened to mixed reviews, rest assured that the flow of show will (hopefully) only improve as she continues her tour, which comes to LA on April 16-17 at The Staples Center. We can’t wait!

Check out this video for Britney’s “Circus” rehearsals.