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Breasts of Glory

by David Yi 15 March 2008 2,532 views One Comment E-mail David Yi


Having eaten fish and chips every other day for the past month without working out has lead me to believe that I’m “forming” a specific body part on my body. Adding to my paranoia is one of my roommates who, when shirtless, makes me feel strangely perverted whenever I accidentally glance over his bare, sagging chest. Since my eating habits have turned ridiculously unctuous ever since I came to London, I’m afraid that eating that kebab at two in the morning is finally taking its toll.

“Am I forming moobs (man boobs?)” I ask myself in agony. As I write this in shame, I’m embarrassed, a little depressed, and extremely curious and wonder if I’ll soon join the likes of Simon Cowell, Robin Williams, and Jack Osborne.

As I search for information on my potential man boobs, I find that there are many men out there like me, whose self-esteem is highly affected by this phenomenon. The scientific name for man boobage is gynaecomastia where there is an extra layer of fat in the pectoral region. The official surgery for reducing the size of moobs is called gynaeplasty a process that costs more than a tummy tuck or liposuction–about $10,000 in the United States.

It is being recorded that this procedure is becoming highly common with about 4,000 men in the UK having undergone the surgery in 2006 alone almost double that of the year before in 2005 where 2,100 went under the knife.

Man-boobs are said to be caused by a mixture of genetics and excess fat deposited into the body. Other reasons are hormonal imbalances, and the use of drugs such as marijuana and steroids. But often times, even exercising does not get rid of man-boobs. Many men actually form man boobs at an early age through hormonal imbalances and keep them until adulthood. Others have an increased level of estrogen, female hormones, and decreased testosterone levels which is actually the name of the disorder, gynaecomastia.

Health Network describes the psychological pain that comes with moobs and how they:

“cripple a young man’s social and self esteem development. Man boobs, man breasts, man tits whatever humiliating name is attached to them, will typically have a man hiding underneath layers of clothing despite the temperature or situation. For example, it would be common for a man with this type of chest to refuse to take off a shirt on a hot day at the beach. Embarrassed by his appearance, it is also not uncommon for a man with this type of chest to have recluse tendencies.”

A site called manboobs.co.uk, “the site that says ‘we’re fat and we’re proud’ then quickly puts its t-shirts back on” celebrates the essence of man boobage by collecting the best photos around and showcasing them.

For those with man boobs, doctors recommend a strict diet and exercise before even thinking about a procedure.

Here are some steps from getridofthings.com that you can take to minimize your moobs.

f you’re over the age of 25 and you’re starting to notice your man boobs getting bigger it might be time to adjust your diet. Once men like you and I start getting closer to 30 the metabolism that kept us from growing beautiful man bosoms when we were younger starts to slack on us a little bit. It’s time to stop with the meat and potatoes diet. Drink less beer, for sure, and stop eating sweets if you want to get rid of man boobs.
Diet isn’t the only thing; if you’re serious about getting rid of man boobs, you’re going to start cardio-aerobic exercises ASAP. After a certain age men tend to build up fat that starts to look like boobs. When your body loses or burns fat, it does so in a global sense; that is, it doesn’t just reduce fat in one area, but all areas. What’s the quickest way to convert fat to energy? Aerobic exercises like running, cross-country skiing, and biking are the best way to lose fat and your plump little man boobies.
Anaerobic exercises (weight lifting) are also a good way to get rid of man boobs. The first exercise you’ll want to focus on is the incline bench press. Most gyms have a machine that focuses specifically on your upper chest; this is the incline press machine. A greater amount of muscle mass in the upper chest will tighten some of that flab around the nipples. Remember that building muscle mass with a weight training regiment requires fewer reps with greater weight.
Working the lower chest, shoulders, and upper back are good things to focus on if you want to reduce the appearance of your man boobs. Building mass around the lower chest will make your boobs look more like Conan’s man pecs than Grandma’s sagging womanhood. Building muscle in the shoulders and the upper back will also stretch and tighten the skin of the upper torso on a whole, so work on building greater muscle mass up there as well as on your chest.

If all else fails, undergoing your procedure might be your only choice in getting rid of your moobs. Here’s a video about gyneplasty surgery.

As for me, I think I’ll see how big and far mine can get, get a little laugh while flaunting and shaking them in the mirror, then seriously going on a diet and to the gym to get rid of these things. These breasts of glory.

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One Comment »

  • fantab said:

    Can I say this was informative? BREASTS of GLORY sounds a lot like a ben stiller movie or more, a will ferril movie that should be made into prodcution.

    My dad and brother both suffer from moobs. I’ll tell them to check it out. lol

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