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F*** You, Carl’s Jr. I’m Moving to Africa

by Erin Darling 27 March 2009 208 views 3 Comments E-mail Erin Darling

Is it just me, or are all of these stupid messy-burger commercials absolutely revolting. Who decided that stretching your mouth-hole to wrap your lips around a huge burger that could feed 3 Ethiopian children is sexy? There’s something I’d like to tell that person, and whoever does advertising for McDonald’s and especially Carl’s Jr…IT ISN’T.

Let the rant continue. I will not discount the fact that a good ol’ cheeseburger is practically an American pastime in itself. Not to mention it’s the perfect accessory to a summer barbecue and beer (other than sunscreen and a Jonas Brother in a Speedo…wait, what’s that you say? They’re all 15? Oops. Nevermind). Wow, I even feel more patriotic after typing that sentence. A cheeseburger on the barbecue is just as American as George Washington himself. Whether it’s made of beef, turkey, chicken or even vegetable pulp, most people enjoy one every now and then. But after watching Padma Lakshmi devour a cheeseburger with an awkward sexual enthusiasm, sauce dripping downward, facial expressions akin to Jenna Jameson in her best porn performance, bacon and cheese everywhere. Let’s just say it’s finger-licking bad. Is this what it takes to sell a cheeseburger? I think I’d rather join those starving kids in Ethiopia than watch another one of these commercials.


Wasn’t it bad enough watching Paris Hilton doing the same thing while rubbing herself against a soaped-up car? If they’re so desperate to make fast-food sexy, Carl’s Jr. should just start making eclairs for these girls to eat on national TV: they’re phallic and cream-filled. Take that, advertising agencies!

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  • Sam said:

    not hot.

  • Muckabreezy said:

    A to the MEN!

  • dk said:

    society has really gone down the drain…

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