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Skankiest Songs By Former Disney Channel Stars – POP 5

by Erin Darling 14 March 2014 No Comment E-mail Erin Darling

It’s a tale as old as time – don’t all kids grow up with stars in their eyes and dreams of one day being on TV?

Breaking into showbiz is tough. It ain’t easy dealing with competition, rejection, and crazy mom and dad-agers while the rest of your peer group is still on the playground, but it’s all worth it for the lucky few who manage to land on the Disney Channel – the place that has given many a child star their big break, a golden ticket to fame, and a few solid years of employment. But eventually there comes a time when a child star must break out of their mouse-house image – usually with the help of drugs, nude picture scandals, or by skanking up, stripping down and singing a song about getting “dirrty.”

Join Erin Darling as she counts down the…

POP 5 Skankiest Songs by Former Disney Channel Stars

5) “Lady Marmalade”

Okay, okay. I know it’s a cover. But the fact that this song is about a prostitute, and literally contains the words “do you want to sleep with me tonight” (in French, no less) make “Lady Marmalade” more than deserving of the number 5 spot on this list.

In 2001, “Mickey Mouse Club” alum Christina Aguilera teamed up with Mya, Pink, Lil’ Kim and Missy Elliott to cover this suggestive song, and more importantly, to dress up like harlots for the music video providing the Internet with endless material for jiggly gifs.


4) “Come & Get It”

I can’t hate on Selena Gomez, girlfriend looks amazing. But the lyrics? That’s a whole ‘notha story.

“When you’re ready come and get it nanananananana” – really?

Selena, it makes me severely uncomfortable me that you’re giving Justin Bieber an “open invitation” to your vajazzle. What happened to chivalry? What happened to the idea that something great is worth the wait? What happened to exploring each others heads, minds, and souls before exploring each other’s damp crotches? What happened to the idea that something other than a penis could fulfill you? These are not the ideas I want the malleable minds of young fans of “Wizards of Waverly Place” to subscribe to!

“I’m not too shy to show I love you, I got no regrets” – these lyrics are full of lies. Last time I said that to somebody I ended up crying in a parking lot. And I did regret it.

A lot.


3) “Digital Getdown”

Our third song on our list is perhaps the creepiest of them all, “Digital Getdown” by NSYNC.

Who is responsible for this song? I don’t blame former “Mickey Mouse Club” stars Justin Timberlake & JC Chasez for this embarrassing ode to cyber/phone sex, I blame the Internet. And that creepy 45 year old mouth-breather that invented chat room boning.

“Digital Getdown” was released back in 2000 – way before the days of Snap Chat – and NSYNC putting this song on “No Strings Attached” was risky business. Boy, oh boyband they really did go out on a limb including “Digital Getdown” on an album marketed primarily to 12 year olds! It’s just wrong.

Not only that but need I remind you that this is a boyband? They had to perform this song together, they had to harmonize about cyber sex and say “we get nasty nasty we get get freaky deaky uh uh” – in matching silver outfits.

I’m embarrassed for them.


2) “I’m A Slave 4 U”

Coming in at number two is a little ditty about sex slavery from former “Mickey Mouse Club” star, Britney Spears. “I’m A Slave 4 U” was released in 2001 when Brit Brit was 20 years old, and didn’t give a f*ck. You know how I know Britney doesn’t give a f*ck? Because she’s wearing her underwear outside of her pants.

And don’t even get me started on the title. “I’m A Slave 4 U”? Everything about this is weirdly offensive. I’m surprised Britney didn’t get slapped with a lawsuit from the national board of feminists!

Let’s just break down the lyrics, “all you people look at me like I’m a little girl…” Uh yeah, Britney. Because that’s how some of us remembered you until we saw you writhing in a sweaty hut covered in a thin layer of Crisco.


1) “Dirrty”

Remember the days Britney and Christina were in a competition to out-do each other? They were always on each other with dance moves, scandalous outfits, and risque performances. It was like the skanktastic equivalent of the space race. Although they were always neck and neck, Christina definitely put a man on the moon first with “Dirrty.”

Right off the release of Britney’s “I’m A Slave 4 U” Christina Aguilera was so bound and determined to let it all hang out, she created an alter-ego X-tina - a dreadlocked, pierced sex machine who spits in cans, hangs out in dirty abandoned wrestling rings, and walks around in ass-less chaps.

“Dirrty” was released in 2002, introducing the world to X-tina, and also to the concept of “sweating until your clothes come off.” Which is really hard to do. I’ve tried.


Thanks for tuning in to our list of POP 5 Skankiest Songs by former Disney Channel Stars – did your favorites make the list? Leave a comment below, and subscribe to THEPOPFIX for our weekly POP 5’s.

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